When The Age Gap Becomes An Issue

Commented by 0 Member   View Comments

Article Summary

Smaller siblings can feel rejected when the older ones exclude them. As the age gap between your children becomes more important, it's inevitable that they will want to prefer playing with friends of their own age, at least most of the time. This doesn't mean their sibling bond will be any less strong in years to come. THE AGE GAP SUDDENLY MATTERS

You’ve been happily telling all your friends how well your delightful children play together, when quite unexpectedly your older child suddenly announces that he doesn’t like babies and stops wanting to play alongside his little sister. He clearly now prefers the company of the playmates who are closer to his own age and who share similar developmental levels.

Of course, it breaks your heart to see how totally rejected your little one feels and to watch her weeping and claiming that her big brother doesn’t love her any more. All your reassurances don’t seem able to calm her.

The best solution, of course, is to remove her from the room where the older children are playing exciting games but excluding her, and to do something special, such as making a cake together in the kitchen.

However, things are clearly changing, and from now on you will probably need to arrange double play-dates, one of a suitable age for the little one and another closer to the older boy’s age.

The best solution, of course, is if you can find another family with two children of similar ages to yours. Obviously, inviting two children isn’t guaranteed to smooth things over, because sometimes the two siblings end up pairing off and you are left entertaining the other two children!

Indeed, recently you’ve probably been becoming increasingly aware that children’s social lives are just as complex as those of adults. In fact, children’s relationships can turn out to be far more difficult, because they tend to change their so-called “best friends” much more frequently than adults-. even in the space of one play date!

It’s so hard for parents to keep up with the ever-fluctuating changes in their young children’s friends and foes! One minute a boy called Peter is the best footballer in the class whom everyone wants to play with, so you suggest a play date with him, but the next minute Peter is considered a silly cry baby who is never to set foot in your house! How on earth can parents keep up with these constant changes in allegiances?

Rest assured that slowly, as they get older, your children will develop more stable friendships some of which may last throughout the school years and even beyond. With the Internet and “www.friendsreunited.co.uk”, people are nowadays falling into the arms of school friends that they haven’t seen for 45 years! But the most stable relationship of all, despite its ups and downs, is the sibling one that your two children will have formed with each other.

Category Tags:

Sibling

Article Tags:

social skills

,

age gap

,

friends

,

jealous

,

social life